Writing Thoughts

This is not a happy post, filled with pretty photos.   I'm just feeling thoughtful lately about others' losses and the human spirit.   You probably all know that California is burning with major wildfires from north to south.   Too many of them are created by humans.   The Soberanes Fire in the Big Sur area was caused by a campfire deep in the forest.   It could be ignorant hikers or could be another illegal marijuana farm.   There have been other major fires that were caused by those tending such farms, often they are deep in the forests and "owned/managed" by the Cartel with "hired hands" camping and taking care of the crops.   Other fires, including the devastating Lower Lake fire, were the result of arson.   We have a more local Chimney Fire burning, the cause still being noted as "under investigation."   What that says to me is they are not releasing the information because again, it is likely caused by someone doing something illegal.   Homes and businesses, to say nothing of the lives, are lost.   Total devastation to those in a fire's path.   The photos and videos are shocking.   Imagine such a fire destroying everything.   In other places, floods and tornadoes do the same damage  to people's homes and lives.   

I don't know how the human spirit survives with all the loss we experience in our lives.   I know some people persevere, continue to have hope and keep a positive outlook for the most part.   Others simply collapse into sadness and depression and carry the burden for years.   Why do some move forward and get on with life while others cannot seem to cope?   Is it personality, is it a faith in something, is it family/friend support?   I don't know.

This past week, my sister and I learned that a cousin's granddaughter had committed suicide.   She was only 15 years old.   Photos on Facebook show her smiling and looking like any other teen.   Then one morning her mother found her.   She had taken her life.   Her best friend writes on her FB wall, trying to express her sadness and loss and grief.   How did that young beautiful girl get to the point where she made that decision?   And how does her family, and her best friend, go on to recover from such shock and sadness?   I didn't know her and don't know her mother so I have no ideas as to what may have driven her to this point.   It's just so very sad.   

I've been through my share of loss in life.   I'm sure everyone has, some more than others.   I've survived it all and come through with a positive outlook on life, still intact.   Here's what I think.

Some years back, Oprah had a frequent guest on her show named Gary Zukov who had written a book called "The Seat of the Soul."   It made sense to me and I still think about his writing from time to time.   Why do we think of people as being an old soul or a young soul?   I have certainly known both.   I am not a religious person but I do consider myself a spiritual person.   I find my peace inside myself and with nature and with others who make me think or make me smile.   The idea of souls being reborn and coming here to learn something makes sense to me.   When you've lived 60 years, you can look back on people and experiences and gain some perspective on the human spirit.   Stop and think, once in a while try to separate yourself from your emotional thoughts and look at life in a different way.  

You can probably tell I've been spending a lot of idle time recently, indoors.   The smoke from the fires has settled into our area and created poor air quality.   Very poor air quality.   I have asthma which I keep under control, but I cannot be outside breathing all the smoke and unhealthy particulates.   And so I try to stay occupied, mostly failing at that, and keeping my mind busy with thoughts.   That's what this post is about, trying to put those thoughts down on "paper" so I can be finished with them for now.     With the smoke from the Big Sur fire easing up, I hope to get back to Cambria and this....very soon.



Comments

What I find astonishing is that people our age can literally remember a time when climate change was not causing regular flooding at one end of the country and incinerating fires at the other. We've literally seen it all change in our lifetime. But I am sure between the smoky air and your family member's suicide, it's been a tough go of it. I hope the air clears soon and you can find peace and comfort in blue skies and green hillsides (coming this winter!). That's what I'm wishing for, too. Sometimes this world feels (and looks) like a dark place.
Tabor said…
While there are those who have the resources, good health, and/or good attitude to move on in their lives, there are those who will be set back for years if not forever due too this flooding, tornadoes and fires. My worry is this is not just this summer, this is the rest of our lives on this globe. I like you have not been brought to my knees quite yet. I feel there is resilience in humankind.
C-ingspots said…
Oh Denise, I have seen the terrible fires on the news and the devastation is just unimaginable to me. I don't know how people are living with that kind of fear - of such a powerful foe as fire. As far as the human spirit, I see grief, tragedy, loss get the best of some people, while others seem to bounce back with an even more determined outlook on life. The difference? I'm not sure, but for me it's my faith in being one of God's children. He loves us and protects us if we have that relationship. Doesn't mean life is any easier, sometimes just the opposite. The powers of evil seem to prey upon God's children even more than the ones who have no faith. For me, I just cannot imagine trying to get through life's trials without my faith in a Savior. Our times are becoming more chaotic, as is foretold in the Bible. It's no surprise that everywhere life is getting worse, weather more disastrous, loss of respect for life and so many other things. We are told to focus on all things lovely and good, honorable and true, and above all else, do good and love our fellow human being. Treat others respectfully and with kindness and compassion. That is how, in the end good will triumph. So sorry for your family's loss. I cannot imagine a deeper pain, but I don't know. It is so very sad that she felt she had no one to turn to for help. As I believe, we are all living souls. We don't "have" a soul - but as long as we're living, we are a soul. In the ancient language of Hebrew and Arabic, the word soul translated literally, means life. To have life. Old souls to me are people who have wisdom, and sometimes age has very little to do with wisdom. I do hope the fires are put out soon, and without anymore loss of life or homes, and your world quiets down and becomes more peaceful very soon. Blessings...
I see a very healthy attitude in your pondering and writing ... putting nebulous thoughts into words, and words to 'paper'.

Hugs from the other coast, where we are stuck inside because it's humid and hot as Hades.
Missy George said…
The world is a very different place today than it was when I was growing up..I have heard myself say ,quite a few times recently,that I'm glad I am as old as I am..Usually it is in regard to the election but there is something to be said for "the good old days"..Nice post Denise
Missy George said…
PS..So sorry about you cousins grand daughter..Gone so young..very sad.
Lynne said…
I think the fires. . . in the west give pause for most of us to ponder the destruction.
Most certainly the senselessness and carelessness of some of the origin.
I find myself in times of ponder and wonder . .
How do some people cope with the grief of so much . .
And as you say, others crumple in the midst of their loss . . . not able to go on.
We recently had two fifteen suicide deaths near us, families we knew.
Heartbreaking . . . it makes me wonder if young fifteen year olds do not have a concept of death . . .
That it is permanent . . . can't be reversed . . . so, so sad . . .
I too have experienced devastating, life changing loss . . .
What was it that took me on a path of pressing forward to live life once again . . .
To find joy . . . when others find it impossible to move forward . . .
Very reflective post Denise . . .
I look forward to you having Cambria days very soon. . .
Putting pen to paper helps the healing process and suually makes things clearer in your mind.
Daryl said…
i am so behind on blog visits/reading ... i empathize with you ... i think if you let it with the way things are in this world it can be very depressing ... i hope venting here has helped ... oddly reading about your mood, knowing you feel much as i do sort of helps me put things in perspective ... hugs

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